Quick Note – Proverbs 22:6 – Godly Parenting

Proverbs 22:6 – “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Being that today is my dad’s birthday, I figured I should write about something quite relevant to him.  When thinking about a verse that fit, Proverbs 22:6 came to mind, a well-known verse when it comes to parenting, for it is because of the godly training that both my parents gave me that I am the person I am today.  The Christian example that they set and the constant reminder of the ways of the Lord through books, TV shows, and simple everyday lessons helped me to personally decide to make Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior and to grow as a disciple of His.  Although both of them worked together in training me in the ways of the Lord, each parent also taught me unique lessons.  From my mom, I learned compassion and hospitality and how to show the love of God through service.  But from my dad, I learned a lot about the inner workings of studying God’s Word, patience, and discipline.  It was actually his request that I finish reading the Bible at least once in my life many years back that helped build up my daily habit of spending time in God’s Word.  It was his willingness to allow me to preach and teach that I found my love for sharing God’s Word.  It was the way he studied God’s Word verse by verse and looked for applicable lessons that has influenced the way I write and teach the Bible.  I must say that he even played a role in this blog becoming what it is, for without his encouragement to read God’s Word and his example in studying it, I would have never found the passion to read, study, and write about the things I learn in the Bible.  My parents definitely trained me in the ways of the Lord, and I have not departed from it.

The Bible is very adamant about parents teaching their children the ways of the Lord.  God even made sure to command His people in Deuteronomy 11:9 to teach God’s commands to their children whether walking in the outside world, sitting at home, or lying down in bed.  God wanted His Word constantly shared with the next generation, for He knew how important a godly upbringing is in bringing a person to Him.  I must admit that if it were not for the influence of both my parents, I would have likely turned away from Christ and become a stalwart enemy of the Gospel; but because of their willingness to parent as God would have them do, I have made a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe.  This post is just an encouragement for parents to raise their children in the ways of the Lord and a reminder for children who have been raised that way to be grateful.  If you fall in that parenting role today then please know that God will use your example and your training in the ways of the Lord to draw your child to Him.  It may not be this instant.  It may not be in the next few years.  But in time, He will be faithful to draw them back to Him, if they were trained in His ways.  If you fall into the category of child who was trained, then be grateful and always give thanks to your Heavenly Father above and to your parents for training you in the ways of the Lord.  And always respect and honor them.  I am very thankful for the influence my mom and dad had in raising me to seek and follow Christ, and I pray that one day I can be as good a parent as they were.  Thank you, Lord, for giving me the parents you did.

A Precedent of Disobedience

Esther 1:16-18 – “The Memucan said in the presence of the king and the officials, ‘Not only against the king has Queen Vashti done wrong, but also against all the officials and all the people who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus.  For the queen’s behavior will be made known to all women, causing them to look at their husbands with contempt, since they will say, “King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, and she did not come.”  This very day the noble women of Persia and Media who have heard of the queen’s behavior will say the same to all the king’s officials, and there will be contempt and wrath in plenty.’”

Being that I am not yet a parent, I cannot comment on the validity of this statement, but I believe that one of a parent’s biggest fears is to hear the words, “I learned that from you!” when scolding his child for doing something wrong.  These words are usually the child’s one way ticket out of a harsher punishment than he deserved, because he invokes the unwritten clause of “You can’t punish something, you did yourself.”  When a parent is hit with this predicament, he is presented with a lose-lose situation; he can either not punish and allow the bad behavior to continue or punish and be labeled a hypocrite by his child.  It is because of moments like this that I am afraid of one day becoming a parent.  Could all my past mistakes one day come and haunt me, leaving me speechless when I try to discipline my kids?  But when it comes down to it, the best way to avoid this type of issue is to not make the mistake in the first place.

In our passage today, we are told of a king who had a similar predicament except it was an issue with his wife and the consequences of his decision would affect the whole kingdom.  The book of Esther tells the story about this king – King Ahasuerus, the ruler of the Persian Empire.  The book begins with King Ahasuerus throwing a party for all his officials and servants from all the 127 provinces that he ruled over.  At this party, he wanted to show-off his beautiful queen, so he called for Queen Vashti to present herself to the crowd to which she refused his command.  In turn, the king was enraged and had to decide what he was going to do, which is where our passage picks up today.  He could either not punish her, let her insubordination continue, and set a precedent of unpunished disobedience in his kingdom; or he could lose his wife and continue to show that obedience to the king and his officials mattered.  He chose the latter.  The queen’s disobedience could have literally set an example for all the people that it was okay to disobey.  That was one serious act of disobedience!

It is sad to say but many Christians today are like Queen Vashti, in that, when the Lord gives us a command, we choose to disobey.  We refuse to follow His principles, His rule, His law, and we expect to get away with it “by grace.”  And we still have the nerve to call Him our King.  We forget that sin is an offense against God.  Next time, you have the choice to disobey consider these things.

1.  It is true that our Lord is a forgiving and loving God, but He is also just and holy and must punish sin.  That sin was punished on the cross.  Jesus Christ went through an awful lot of pain and suffering for you, and that pain not only being physical but emotional and spiritual as well.  Jesus Christ did all this for you, how can you disobey someone who loved you that much?  Also, remember that disobedience will come with consequences whether you like it or not.  Queen Vashti was banished from the kingdom.  God won’t ever abandon His children, but there will still be consequences.
2. What you do sets an example to the world.  Just as Queen Vashti’s disobedience was an example for all other women in the empire, we as Christians, if we choose to disobey, set a precedent for all unbelievers to assume that it is okay for them to disobey as well.  How can we expect the world to obey God, if we refuse to obey our own Lord?  You can’t expect a person to obey your king, if you don’t yourself.  It is like the example about the parent and the child above.
3. When you disobey God, you give the world a reason to call Christians hypocrites and refuse Christ’s redemption.  One of the most common excuses for people when refusing Christianity is that “Christians are hypocrites.”  Whenever we disobey, we solidify this way of thinking because we become an example of a Christian who does not do what he preaches.  We actually become hypocrites.  I’ve once said that it is better for a Christian who disobeys to tell people he wasn’t one, because at least, his disobedience would not reflect on all other Christians.  I sometimes still stand by this statement.

As with Queen Vashti’s disobedience, our disobedience, as disciples of Jesus Christ, is one serious matter.  Our disobedience reflects badly on our faith and our Lord.  So my pleading with you as a fellow disciple is, don’t disobey.  Don’t set a precedence of disobedience for the world to follow.