Revolutionize Your Relationships – Focus on the Lord
Ephesians 5:22-6:9 – “…Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord….Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church…Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right…Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord…Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ…Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening…”
Link to the passage: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5%3A22-6%3A9&version=ESV
Just this last week, my family came over from California to visit me here in Maryland. It was my mom and my dad, my cousin Tim, and one of my uncles. While they were here, we took a mini road trip down to Niagara Falls and back to the DC area. This time in the car provided us with tons of time to just talk and discuss what was going on in our lives, and one of the critical topics we discussed was problems with the church today. Not the church as in a particular one, but the church, the body of Christian believers, as a whole. We found that there was a lot of disunity between churches causing competition and scurrying for the most people. We found that there was a lot of not living up to the standards we are called to in God’s Word. We found that there was a lot of pastor worship instead of Christ worship. After going through just several problems, we found that the root of the problem was clear – the focus of the church had fallen away from Christ and shifted to other things. With the problem identified, the solution was simple – Christ needed to become the focus of every Christian again. If Christ was the focus of every Christian, everything else would fall into place. No more disunity when all one is seeking to do is please Christ. No more competition. No more failure to live up to the standards in God’s Word.
Seeing that the solution was Christ and making Him the center of our lives, one key place that we need to shift our focus to Him is in our everyday relationships. At the Thursday night Bible study that I attend with a Young Careers Fellowship, we went over the passage above from Ephesians 5:22-6:9 (Click the link above and read it if you have not yet.). What I realized as I read this passage was the Christ-centeredness in every relationship. Three relationships were discussed, and in each there exists the “inferior” role (although not inferior at all) and the “superior” role (although not superior either). If one looked at the lower role, one could see that Paul sought to drive home the point that when you live out this role live out as if you would to Christ. If one looked at the more desired role, one could see that Paul sought to make them recognize that when you live out this role you need to live it out as if you were Christ. No matter what role you were in, the focus of the relationship was Christ. Christ was the solution. So let’s examine each of these roles in short.
1. The Husband-Wife Relationship (Eph 5:22-33)
When looking at this relationship, the wife was told to submit to the husband as she would to Christ. On the other hand, the husband was told to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. This picture of marriage was a symbol of Christ and the church. Although these seem like completely difficult demands to place on a person, the common thread is clear – Christ. Wives were told to submit as they would to Christ. We as Christians must submit our hearts and lives to Christ, for He is our Lord and our Savior. But in the same manner, when we live out our submissive roles as we would do it to Christ, we find that the relationship becomes much better. In the same manner, the husband is to love as Christ loved. Once again, we find that one must love as Jesus loved. This love was no meager conditional love (If you do this for me, then I’ll do this for you.) but an unconditional agape love that caused Christ to give Himself up to death on the cross for the church to be seen as righteous before God. That love would revolutionize a relationship. Imagine if you loved your spouse or boy/girl friend in that way. That would change your relationship incredibly.
2. The Parent-Child Relationship (Eph 6:1-4)
In this set of four verses, we see another wonderful illustration of Christ-focused relationships. We find Paul first commanding children to obey their parents as their form of honoring their parents. But we see a key phrase appear again here – “in the Lord.” Other versions say “because you belong to the Lord” and “as the Lord wants.” In any case, the idea is clear – children should obey their parents as they would obey the Lord. We need to obey our parents as we would Christ. When we chose to give our lives to Jesus Christ, we made a commitment to follow Him in obedience whole heartedly. We must obey our parents in the same manner. But we also see Paul giving a reverse command to fathers/parents – “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the disciple and instruction of the Lord.” Parents were asked to discipline and instruction their children in the ways of the Lord. I would assume that that also means in the same manner that Christ would discipline and instruct His children. God chastises and disciplines those He loves. It is clear throughout the Scripture; if you don’t believe me, just take a few moments and flip to Hebrews 12, and you will see a clear description of this. But God does not only chastise and discipline, He does so with love. Parents especially fathers are given the role to be examples of God the Father, so they must reflect God in their relationships with their children as well. Once again, we find that if Christ is the center of this relationship, the focus of both parties whether in the submissive or commanding role, all things work out.
3. The Master-Slave/Boss-Employee Relationship (Eph 6:5-9)
The last relationship discussed is the Master-slave relationship. Before diving into this relationship, we need to take some time and imagine our relationship with our bosses. If we told the truth to ourselves, we would probably have to admit that we at some point in our lives have worked for somebody we truly did not want to work for. Because of this dislike, we ended up giving a half-hearted job at the workplace, only putting in a little effort, just enough to get by. Now, imagine if you were a slave to that boss, meaning that your whole life belonged to your boss. Now, you can’t even escape the workplace, because your home life belonged to him as well. This was the condition a slave was in. It didn’t matter whether his boss was kind and generous or mean and inappropriate, he was stuck in that predicament. Yet Paul speaks to slaves in this condition to obey their masters with “fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by way of eye-servie, as people pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether salve or free.” The servant was asked to obey and not only obey but with a sincere heart and not just to be seen by man. Once again, Paul brings the relationship to a Christ-centered focus. He tells the slaves to obey as they would to their One True Master Jesus Christ. If they would obey and work as they would to Christ, then all would be fine with their relationship to their master. In reverse, Paul also speaks to the masters telling them in vs. 9, “…Do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that He who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality in Him.” Once again, the masters were told to remember that Christ was their master and to treat their slaves/servants in the same way Christ treats them with love and servanthood. Remember when Christ the Master washed His disciples’ feet. Masters here were called to do likewise. This applies to the workplace as well. If you are an employee, do your work as if you were doing it to the Lord, and if you are a boss, then serve your employees, as Christ served the church.
In all three of these relationships, we find that if Christ was the focus, the relationship could easily be repaired in no time. We need to examine each and every one of our relationships whether with a child or a parent, a husband or wife, a boss or an employee, and consider if we are living as we would to Christ or as if Christ lived through us. If we keep our relationships, Christ focused all things will fall into place.
*Extra Note: It is amazing to see that no matter the role, we can see Christ in each one. Christ was submissive to His Father going to death on a cross. Christ was loving like a husband, giving Himself for the church even while we were yet His enemies. Christ obeyed His Father like a child and even obeyed Mary and Joseph and submitted Himself to them as a child. Christ instructed His disciples in the ways of God with love and discipline as fathers should their children. Christ humbled Himself to the servant’s role of washing His disciples’ feet as a slave would yet also was a Master that understood and loved His servants and continues to love us today.
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